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July 3.

Jul. 4th, 2009 | 03:40 am

I set my alarm and he curls up into a little foetus.
And I get so sad.
I can't sleep anymore.
I want to be in his arms.
A few hours.

I keep stroking, squeezing, moving around, breathing, sighing loud, until I crawl over him and see that his eyes are open.
He uncurls and holds me.

Love and little naps until we really have to go.
I get ready in 10minutes and we drag my bags to the busstop.

The ticket home is so cheap when you buy it in the machine.

Cuddles on the platform.
I'm still too happy to be sad.
Finish my filmroll. Can't wait to see the pictures.
Throw my bags inside and hug and kiss until the trainguy gets annoyed and makes signs that I have to get in now.
There are small tears in the corner of my eyes
It's happiness.

I build a small fort around me with my bags.
Send my last Dutch texts, for now.
Read I never promised you a rose garden and fall asleep until a man asks me to destroy my fort so he can sit.
He's right.
I'm nice, he's nice, I close my eyes again.

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We're in Antwerp, it feels strange.
Everyone is so slow.. I have 6 minutes.
I take stairs in the end, thinking it would go faster, but my bag is so heavy.
I breath harder, faster, it's so hot.
I take the wrong escalator and have to walk a little more.
Two minutes left.
One.
30seconds left when I jump on.
Fuck.
My muscles are sprinkling fire, I feel weak.

A girl with bright red hair and a boy I saw before in the station in front of me.
There's too little space for our feet.
After 3 sorry's we don't care anymore.
I read No one belongs here more than you do.
I recognize the stations, cities, scenery. I've done this road so many times.
The boy juggles with his water and coke bottle and fails
I laugh and can't stop.
I'm tired. I don't want to go.
I could go into can't-stop-hysterical-laughing, but I don't.
It's tiredness.
I get off, he waves bye.
I recognize it all.
It doesn't feel like I left at all.

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Feels like I never left.
Mom is waiting. A warm hi.
Home.
Feels like I've been here the day before, the weeks, the months.
5months Amsterdam is in the back of my head.

Makes me sad.

Ride to the city

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The sky, the buildings.
Part of me not feeling totally at home in Gent is the people in the street.
But then I look up.
The sky, the buildings. Down if there's water, and I feel connected to that.
It feels somehow empty, with him not being here, eventhough he's never been here before.
I miss him.

Go and say hi to Camille and Basile.
They make me drawings.
Show me around their rooms, haven't changed that much in 5 months..
Camille got grown-up people teeth, Basile has a big hole.
We eat lasagna and while we wait for a delicious dessert, pretend we're on a waterscooter, heading to the island on the other side of the world.
We play trivial pursuit and for once, I don't suck!
(doesn't matter if it's the Kids version) and Cluedo for kids.
Apparently it was ALWAYS the butler who ate the pie.
Brushing teeth and bed time story.
Hugs and kisses.












SO, I'm back home.
Leaving tomorrow morning at 6:30
Train at 7, need to be in Brussels by 8. 4 hours and then we're in France!
Renting a car and heading to our house+pool.
Sun, reading and finishing that fucking mastertest.
I don't know what to do with this Livejournal.. Continue, or leave it at that?

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July 2.

Jul. 4th, 2009 | 03:06 am
music: Angus and Julia Stone

Monika 's home!
She arrived last night.
I kiss and hug before I run to uni to get Erasmus papers signed and say bye to Job, the coordinator.
Hug Wim see-you-later when I leave and he enters the building.
I met great people.
Few, but great.

Spend the whole day packing.
I have so much stuff..
Give everything I don't need to Monika.
Moni, Magda and me have raspberry ice cream on my balcony.
Going to miss them so.
Have to visit.
Daniel comes around 6:30.
I'm still in the middle of it.
He hangs around.
I'm working like crazy.
It's so hot.

20:15 and I'm finished. Finally.

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We buy the best frozen pizza in the world.
Excellent by Albert Heijn
SO GOODDD
And watch the end of Perfume.

Meet one of his roommates.
A lovely girl from Sweden and her boyfriend from Greece.
Funny how she's leaving tomorrow evening and not coming back till the end of August, so this is the only 15minutes we will speak to her.
Too bad. She looked like a lot of fun.
Her boyfriend too.

My plan is to stay up all night, but I can't.
I open my eyes, he's looking at me, a little sad.
Oh.. I think I slept a little..
Feels like I had my eyes closed for 5minutes, but it's 4:15

I set my alarm and he curls up into a little foetus.
And I get so sad.
I can't sleep anymore.
I want to be in his arms.
A few hours.

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July 1.

Jul. 4th, 2009 | 02:50 am
music: Angus and Julia Stone

FREE DAY!

Peter would call me about filming more, but he doesn't.
I'm at the library and while answering an "I'm going to Amsterdam, what do I HAVE to see" I realise I want to see the FOAM exhibition before I leave.
And the Planetarium.
The weather is a bit chilly anyway and I'm only in my black dress.
Daniel will be at work till 7..
FOAM and then 3 Planetarium movies, yes!

I have water and buy luxe muesli bollen, kiddie yoghurt and healthy cookies at Albert Heijn.
I'm ready for my day!

3 exhibitions at FOAM.
I wanted to see the one about Amsterdam, but it's not here..
Make silent friends with a girl.
We started together and have the same pace.
She's so pretty.
I like silent friends.

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Guy Tillim – Avenue Patrice Lumumba
http://www.foam.nl/index.php?pageId=9&tentoonId=174

Marks of Honour 08 (MoH) - A striking library
http://www.foam.nl/index.php?pageId=9&tentoonId=175

Massimo Vitali
http://www.foam.nl/index.php?pageId=9&tentoonId=173

Emilie Hudig - Controle
http://www.foam.nl/index.php?pageId=9&tentoonId=176

Head to Artis.
2,5€
But not in summer, so had to take this last day.
In time for the First movie at 3: Astronaut.
Walking around for half an hour.
It's so warm.
These kids are so sweet, and such clever remarks.
I miss Camille and Basile.
Second movie at 4: Origin of Life.
More walks.
Ben & Jerry's icecream
My camera died this morning, I'm using my new analogue one.
Last show at 5: Spacetrip

I love the Planetarium.

Spend some time reading "I never promised you a rosegarden" in the sun.
Have nowhere to go when Artis closes, so head to Daniel's work and sit outside until he comes and gets me.
Bye's to Edwin.

Arrive at his room around 7:20
Takes us to 11:30 to have packed, and moved everything.
Biked 3 times up and down.
HUNGRY
His new room is amazing.

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So big.
Good neighborhood.

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I'm jealous.
I'm coming back after France.
For sure.
More love.

We get Mc Donald's.
I know.
For the first time in 6 years I get an actual meal.
And my stomach hurts afterwards.
A big big bed to sleep in, still we sleep so close.

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June 30.

Jul. 4th, 2009 | 02:28 am
music: Angus and Julia Stone

FREE DAY!
Daniel goes to work.
I go to the library.
Look up where the Kringloopwinkels are.
Need Gaygangsta clothes for Rosa's party tonight.
Lovely sandwich on the lovely roof terrace.

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This looks so much like a Jezus image I saw in Sweden!

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I bike far.

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5 books, some clothes, flashcamera and 15€ spent

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There was a filmroll left in the camera.
Bought a battery and started shooting!

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Second Kringloopwinkel!

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2 light gilets, some Baby Johnson's bodylotion and 7€ lighter.

No gaygangsta clothes..
I decide to buy Zeeman tanktops and make stencils!

The Zeeman takes me even further.

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Decide I need household paper (silver) to make some bling.
I decide to head back to the city

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At Surinameplein they're celebrating the independence!

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That man!

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Loved the woman in blue.

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American Bookshop at Spui.

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I DO!

I want this one:

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And maybe this one:

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First Kringloopwinkel treasure:

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Went back to the library, found such cool stencils.
Daniel started cleaning up and packing, moving to his new room tomorrow.
It's so late.
My stencil isn't finished.
He's staying home.
I get so so tired and don't feel like going anymore.
I crawl in his bed around 12, watch some Au bout du souffle and keep falling asleep.
Holding hands.
He's so close.

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June 29.

Jul. 4th, 2009 | 02:10 am
music: Anathallo

Hetta leaves early.
We continue sleeping.

We love sharing.
We're really good at it.

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Car with legs in front of the place where he works.

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Continue my way home.

There's a car in front of a fence.
The man is angry
"Do you think this is normal??"
I see 2 fences right after each other
Over a car
This is weird
The man is angry because the road is blocked?
I laugh
Angry people make me laugh sometimes
Don't know why
But.. Why 2 fences behind each other?
And they're connected by a large wooden plates.
An imagine of horse riding comes into my mind, a horse jumping over the fences.
The guy keeps yelling: "Don't you feel any responsibility?
You think this is just normal?
That this can just happen"
I'm still confused..
I look at the man, the men cleaning it up, the 2 fences right after each other, the fact that it covers a car, the fact that there are scaffolding against the houses next to it
AND THEN
FINALLY
FINALLY
After 3 long minutes, I get it
and I yell
"IT FELL DOWN!!"
The woman next to me (didn't see her) said: "YES! 30seconds before I came here! Could have dropped on my head"
Oh God, if I had been here, I would have been crying cause of the fright.

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Spend some hours on my research proposal and finish it!
2 FREE DAYS!
I'm so happy.

We go to de Nieuwe Anita for movies.

Dancing parrot!

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Short movie for starters

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Can't remember the name of the movie and to lazy to look it up.
Twin brothers, gynaecologists, one goes crazy
Was waiting for it to start until it ended.

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June 28.

Jul. 4th, 2009 | 01:59 am
music: Anathallo

We stay in bed too long.
It rainssssss

Certain situations, bring up certain memories, bring up tears.

We finally leave around 5.
Have to bike so far.
Birthday of Sabrina (girl that works with Daniel) & Kim.
Theme: scouting.
Looked for clothes yesterday, but didn't find any.

BBQ!!
And games.

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The kid!

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Meet Laura at Kriterion at 21:15.
I'm earlier than she is!!
FINALLY

Daniel goes to Hetta, she's leaving tomorrow.

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So sad!
So sweet and so sad.

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Laura leaves for Sweden. 2 months with her love.
So happy for her.
Sweden. Love. Festivals.
What else is there, right?

I'm presenting the new EF bag-collection.

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Hugs see-you-later
(no goodbye's here)

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June 27.

Jul. 4th, 2009 | 01:23 am
music: Anathallo

I sleep, sleep, sleep.
I love hanging around in bed
And breakfast, I love breakfast

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He bikes to his new room, to go and check it out.
I forgot stuff at home

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Take a new road home and find

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LA FILLE D'O

I buy myself a going away present.
(see further down)

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Surprises in my mailbox!!

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Jon sent:

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Eva sent:

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My own treat:

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Quick shower, it's so hot.

Meet Daniel at Noordermarkt for the famous apple pie.

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And we stroll around.
Lovebirds in the sun.

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3x the same girl!
It's a fucking set-up!

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LOOK!!! http://www.peterfunch.com/series.html?XMLload=xml/BABELTALES.xml

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I buy Roald Dahl - Over To You

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Quick dinner.
Meeting Constantijn and his friend, but misunderstand directions.

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We end up at Prinsengracht something, 3 houses away from the Anne Frank house.
Instant jealousy.
Fuck.

Constantijn is the sweetest, wanting to meet, waiting outside, coming down, just to make sure we get introduced to people and don't feel like outsiders.
We're just in time for the band!

Yellowkinfe.

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They sound like music I heard on the radio and I wonder why they aren't on it.

CONSTANTIJN

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It's funny how some people don't really really look alike, but you get this same vibe.
Tomas, meet Constantijn.

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Funny to be on a birthdayparty where you don't know anyone.
Constantijn explained this whole drama yesterday and I'm waiting for tragic and tears.
Nothing so far.

THE VIEW
You can see everything.
Everything!
If the trees weren't there, you could look inside Anne Frank's room.
I meet there friends, they're all nice.
We have alone talks and enjoy the view until it gets dark and we get even more jealous

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I keep drinking rose, he drinks beer.
We head to the kitchen, Eric is DJ'ing.
We dance!
And fill the calender.
First with our birthdays.
Then with stuff to do
END OF SCHOOL PARTY on the 30th
BEGINNING OF SUMMER PARTY on the 1st
Go to the park
Pancake party
Dress up party (theme = fairytales)
Tell a secret
Tell more
BEST FRIENDS DAY

It goes on

We have a whole week of
FALL IN LOVE
FALL IN LOVE
FALL IN LOVE
FALL IN LOVE
FALL IN LOVE
FALL IN LOVE
in october

Would be great if they really did some of the stuff we wrote.

The drama began. They talk in small groups.
Rose is in my head and we dance, giggle and kisskiskiss.

Up to the rooftop again.
German conversations with a very excited boy who's father is German and liked the same hiphop band as Daniel when they were in high school.

DRAMA!
Drunk girls
Yelling, crying.
This is why I don't get drunk.
It gets very embarrassing and I want to remember everyone else's embarrassing moments.

4:05. We're too tired to wait for the sunrise.
The sun's up when we finally reach Uilenstede.
Daniel crashes and doesn't even notice.

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June 26.

Jul. 4th, 2009 | 01:00 am
music: Anathallo

Get up at 6.
Energy!
Even have time to spend on doing nothing at all.
Some Pilates.
I'm totally ready.
I never ever ever ever studied just one day for a course.
Never.
Oh well.

The exam is too fucking easy.
I'm so happy.
If I had read the book I would have been able to answer that one question and had gotten a 10/10, for sure.

Oh, got a phonecall yesterday.
Belgian number
"Hallo met Elke"
"Sorry Ellen dat ik je op deze manier probeer te bereiken, je spreekt met prof. Beyers"
ihihihi
"Oh, hey!"
"We hebben je punten nu meteen nodig, de deadline voor het ingeven is vandaag"
"Dat gaat moeilijk gaan.. Ik heb over 20min een examen, morgen nog 1 en de deadline voor men research proposal ligt pas volgende week."

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I text Constantijn that I finished earlier, he calls, he's at uni, Eric is here too.
We meet.
Instant friendship is something funny.
We have very energetic conversations and joke around.
The sun is shining.
Eric wants to spend more time on his thesis, so we head to the city.
Me in the back, because that's allowed here.
He bikes me to streets where everyone got killed (liquidated)
Streets, houses, water, sky.
Love it.
"Where do you want to go?"
"Don't care. Surprise me."
Until Eric calls, he's on his way.
We head to Weesperplein.
Eric is disappointed we don't know how to get there.
We think along the tracks and then the stairs.
I would do it.
It's just around the corner, so not really along the tracks.
But the metro's, the people, the guards and the camera's.
We try doors, elevators, nothing.

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Constantijn and I long adventure, Eric doesn't.
A beer on a terras is what he's been longing for.
Guards gather at the elevator, Eric goes and asks.
"Yes, there's a metrostation underneath this."
"Can we get there?"
"It's not open for the public"
"And the bunker?"
"Yes, there's a bunker too?"
"We really can't get there?"
"It's not open for public.."
I jump in:
"So who can get there?"
"You need a key."
"But who has that? Can you get there?"
"Yes. We can get there."
I get totally siked
"What's it like!!!"
"There's nothing there.."
"Do you go there sometimes?"
"Why would we, there's nothing?"
"erm.. It's an old, unfinished metrostation underneath the finished one.. And a bunker..
Have you ever been there? Like in the beginning?"
"Yeah."
"WHAT WAS IT LIKE!!!"
He explains. I'm so jealous.
"So you can get there.."
"Yes."
"But that's not fair! Because you don't WANT to go there, and we do!
Can't you take us? Like with an OV card, you can take 3 people.."
Laughs
"No."
I'm so sad.

I'm really sad.
Eric talks about this magazine where you can send a question to, about something in Amsterdam, little things and they go and try to find it out.
We can ask about this and hope they take us there.

We go to a square, buy wine, olives, chips, cherries at Dirk and enjoy the sun and nice conversations.
I get invited to Eric's birthday party the next day, like in preschool.
I can bring Daniel.
Hooray!

Daniel rented Le Souffle Du Vent.
In French with Dutch subs. Poor boy.
I love it, but fall asleep around half.
Warm nights.

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June 25.

Jul. 4th, 2009 | 12:52 am
music: Anathallo

I can do this, I can do this.
Head to uni.

The exam sucks.
It just really sucks.
Question 1: YES
Question 2: YES
Question 3: YES
Question 4: erm..
So vague, I have no idea what he wants to read.
10 questions, this is not a good beginning..
I mark it as do-it-later.
5 is tricky, but I guess he means..
6?
Pass
7: ok
8.. ok
9.. ok
10: isn't that the same as 4?
The article?
I don't remember what it was about..
Oh God.
Not fun.

Everyone thought the same, and wrote more or less the same.
11 A4 sides.
Jezus Christ. My hand hurts.

And the sun!
My headache started 5minutes after I got out of my tower.
Not made for this kind of pressing heat.

I get goodbye's
a date with Constantijn and Eric to go and find out if we can get to that metrostation underneath the metrostation at Weepserplein.
Numbers.

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I go to Daniel's work for 5minute kisses

Need food.
In the mood for pink appearently

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I spend my whole evening+night summarizing the articles.
Stress.
Little sleep.

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June 24.

Jul. 4th, 2009 | 12:51 am
music: Anathallo

Study all freakin day long.
Short night.

Can't go to Sedan Vault + Ghinzu :(

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